Also there are cool characters.

The next dog I get, I will call him McNulty. McNulty is a cool cop. He sometimes goes on benders and has sex with lots of ladies. He's handsome in a scruffy way, which is my favourite kind of handsome!

I like McNulty because he's a loose cannon. Loose cannons make for good television. I read that in TV Guide. 

Another reason I watch is because of Stringer Bell. If you don't watch the Wire but then someone starts talking about it, just mention Stringer and how he's super cool and that person will agree and you will be talking about the Wire like a real fan.

Stringer is a smart drug dealer. Stringer looks dangerous in his spectacles. His glasses give him keen eyesight and wisdom. He is wise about the streets and also matters of business because he attends night school. He asks his teacher questions about business and then his teacher helps him with his drug dealing operation--without even knowing! Stringer is so so smart. Also I would like to sleep with him. 

Omar is probably the coolest character on the Wire. He is even cooler than the drug dealers because he ROBS THE DRUG DEALERS! WOW! He carries around a sawed-off shot gun all the time. A sawed-off shot gun is crazier than a regular shot-gun--that's one of the ways you can tell he's crazy. He's a loose cannon like McNulty, except just like McNulty he's got his own kind of moral code that makes sense to him. He and McNulty are bros because they are the same except different. That's why Liz and me are friends. 

One of my favourite insults comes courtesy of my beloved pops, who gets his chuckles calling people "dirty Ruskies."  Kids these days are too stupid to know that Ruskies means Russians, and therefore commies, so I just cut out the middleman and call people filthy communists. 

WHAT A LOSER! AHAHAHA

D-bag is also effective--even Tracy Jordan agrees:

Scumbag money grubbing future lawyer can be fun if you're needling your law student boyfriend, but expect tears, so tread cautiously.

LAWYERS ARE JERKS, AMIRITE?

I can't do all the work for you lazy bastards.  You get the idea.

Thing is, I never spend that wasted time doing useful shit.  I mean, I hear about people who clean their houses instead of writing articles, but let's be honest: those people are jerks.  They shouldn't even be complaining--at least they get things done!

Here is what I do instead of homework/research/cleaning/calling my parents/something productive:

Yahoo Mu'fucking Games

I like to download one hour trials of really godawful games and then get obsessively into them.  My only complaint?  Too many hidden object games.  Those are boring, Yahoo.  More wizards and dragons, please. I am not joking. 

Also, why do you think that all women want to play some sort of CAFE DASH game?  That is stupid, as clearly you have never played those games.  They are the worst.

Watch Bad Movies on the W Channel

Yep, sometimes even a shitfest like Under the Tuscan Sun seems more appealing than cranking out another 500 words.  Pretty soon, you find yourself weeping through another wasted afternoon (though you won't be sure whether it's for your wasted hours or poor Diane Lane).

Bake.  A lot.

When I am bored, calorie-laden treats (like ooey gooey gingerbread) start multiplying like bunnies on e.  If you are in Halifax, please come over and eat this shit, because otherwise I will, and that is NOT GOOD.

Have Anxiety Attacks

This one is my favourite!!!

See?  Hottie.

I'm writing a paper for my Shakespeare class, contrasting two film versions of a play we've covered with the original text.  Yeah, I know, sexy!

As any non-fool around my age would do, I've chosen Luhrmann's 1996 classic "Romeo + Juliet" (starring Jack Dawson and Angela Chase) as one of my films, which led me to delve into the wide world of Shakespeare adaptations.  Specifically, those done in the past 20 years, which are notable mostly for how loose their ties to the original works are.  Let's take a trip down memory lane, shall we?

Yeah, let's start with the Luhrmann.  Last week, I rewatched this film at around 2 in the morning (shut up), and found myself SO SO into Leo DiCaps in a way that I never was before.  And now his picture is on my locker at school.

We will explore his hottness in more photos.

Yes.  Good.

Water make-outs.  Totally.

Also, hilariously, Paul effing Rudd is in this movie!  The goofiest Paris ever is also worthy of a few sighs...check this hunk of man flesh out:

Isn't he having THE BEST TIME?

Okay, moving on.

Did any of you ever see O--Mekhi Phifer, Julia Stiles, Josh Harnett's eyebrows?  When I was in high school, I tried to watch it with my parents.

Don't do that, you guys.  There are sexual scenes that will make you blush and your dad HARUMPH uncomfortably from his armchair.  Also it's kind of a bad movie.

10 Things I Hate About You is family friendly, though!  Nobody doesn't love a good Heath Ledger (RIP, dude).  Julia Stiles is in this one too.  She's kind of a whore for Shakespeare.

Also there is this.  Which is funny, because balls=funny.

Last, but certainly not least (actually it's mostly last because I got tired of Googling shit, which is surprisingly hard work), She's the Man. 

I have a weird lady crush on Amanda Bynes.  I mean, in real life she's all fake tans and skirts so short you're always perilously close to seeing cooter, but girlfriend has great comic timing! 

Also I watched a lot of All That as a kid so I'm probably scarred.

Doesn't she make a great dude?  AHAHAHAHAHA.

I watched this movie approx. twice one day when I was sick and didn't feel like moving from the couch.  I'm not sure if that was a good idea, but oh well.  My life is full of wrong decisions.

OKAY BYE GUYS MISSED YOU TALK AGAIN SOON K?!!

light up globe!

rolly thingy!

Andrew Moore took this photo of my dream space ^ 

Also just want walls and walls of books.

plus I want one of those cute little ladders.

Jing Wei made this.

She made these trees shouting through megaphones too. Kinda what Vancouver feels like now. Hey! Check it out! It's Fall! It's crisp and stuff!

James Gulliver Hancock is an illustrator dude. He refitted the design of this cafe. I want to go to there.

JGH sez:

A few years ago me and a couple of friends did a refit to a cafe in paris, adapted from an old typewriter repair store in the Bastille area in Paris. We made it into a super cute little art bar with hand silkscreened typewriter drawings on the walls we made, installations in the bathroom, and drawings of famous writers around the place. I just walked past and noticed the furniture they used is great too. If you're ever in paris, check it out. Google map link

Leanne Shapton made this. Is from her book, Was She Pretty? where she "explores conflicting feelings aroused in women by their boyfriends' ex-lovers." Leanne is awesome. I wants to be her when I grows up.

I hope.

Should be dope...heh...heh...heh...PANIC, FUCKING PANIC!

I liked Bob's microphone--my brother said it was so skinny because Bob was supposed to hide that part of it in his hand, but I dunno.  I bet ol' Barker just realized it looked way cooler the way he held it.

Anyway, even though I'm more of a Jeopardy! girl myself, I liked watching The Price is Right because it made me feel closer to my grandpa.  The prizes were always pretty hilarious, too..."You've won this GORGEOUS oak dining room set, and a lifetime supply of offbrand detergent!"  The showdowns were funniest when one person would get a trip to Greece and the other would get a riding lawnmower.  Someone's gonna go for the steal!

Actually, my dad loves his riding mower.  What do I know.

I saw The Price is Right was on tv this morning, and I switched over to it out of habit.  I'd completely forgotten that Bob had retired, and in his place we have Drew "I Am Inexplicably Popular" Carey.

See?  He doesn't even look very stoked to be surrounded by lovely ladies.

Bob was never above an assgrab, and that's why we loved him.

So anyway, I'm watching Drew up there on the stage, trying his hardest to muster up some enthusiasm as he hugs the thousandth screaming old lady, and I realize something that hurts my very soul, and the memory of my beloved grandpa.  

DREW CAREY TOTALLY HATES HIS DOPE ASS JOB!

 I mean, sure, he tries his best but you can just read the "Seriously, this is what you do after you have your own goddamn TV show?  You fake enthusiasm when military guys and the unemployed correctly guess the price of the washing machine?" all over his face.

It's disrepectful.  People would kill to host a show that sick.

P.S.  Don't even get me started on Pat Sajak.  Grandpa hated that guy too: "I hear Wheel of Fortune won the Emmy for Best Game Show.  THE VOTING IS FIXED!!"

Neko Case sings purdy songs and has purdy hair:

Here's a scary video I made where I have the same hairstyle!

Run Lola Run! The nuns do not approve of your devil hair!

Joan Holloway, but mostly her big fine ass:

I don't know what's sadder, the photo itself or the fact that it was titled linday_lohan_jeremy_piven_party.jpg. I do love her as an anorexic skag, though I miss those big ol' tittays:

 Coco Rocha looks dope with red hair...

...but looks even doper dancing to the Jungle Book with her daddy: